Conflicting Emotions

Well, its been another couple weeks since my last entry and it's time for another.

Let's start with work. It's been a pretty good summer. I like most of my kids, although there are a couple who really annoy me each day, but I knew it was going to be like that, so I try not to let it bother me too much. Camp is winding down as we have the rest of this week and up until Thursday next week, and then I am once again out of a job. That means it is time to start looking. I really need to find something and quickly because I will need money for the coming year.

I have finally picked my classes for school, although I don't know if I will be keeping all of them. There are a few that I am thinking of changing but I don't know, we will have to see what I am able to come up with. I am taking a public speaking course, which I am looking forward to, as well as a Mythology and Folklore class which should be a lot of fun. My other two classes are still a bit up in the air and I will have further updates on them as the school year nears.

I am not sure where I stand with the girl that I am currently interested in. I mean, we talk nearly every day and I feel that the conversations are good, but I am not quite sure what she wants out from me. I am hoping to meet up with her again within the next week or so and hopefully we will talk and figure something out, however, I am probably just setting myself up for further disappointment, but then again, what else is new. It seems everywhere I look, something is going wrong for me. I just wonder when I will get a break and finally find something that makes me happy.

Now for the main catalyst of this post. How does one reconcile being happy for someone yet feeling like your heart has been ripped out at the same time. My ex-girlfriend, who broke up with me about a little over a month ago now, is now in a relationship. On one hand, I do want her to be happy, and if she has found someone else who makes her happy, then I am glad. On the other hand, I still miss her like crazy and want to be with her. I now know that that will never happen again and I have to come to grips with that realization, but it doesn't make it easy. I still love her with all my heart and I will support any decision that she makes because of that, but it doesn't make it any easier to see her with another guy. I just don't know how to feel about this, but I will try and make the best of it and be happy for her.

And now for today's song:

Would It Matter by Skillet